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[Audiobook] Personal Development | Being a Likeable Boss
Is it better to be loved or feared as a leader? This age-old question forms the crux of our latest episode, where we dissect the balance between likability and respect in leadership. By unraveling historical and contemporary perspectives, we highlight the pitfalls of both authoritarian and overly lenient approaches. We argue for a balanced style that combines clear boundaries with genuine care for employees, framing leadership as a form of service that aligns employee needs with organizational goals.
We then shift gears to discuss the art of setting effective goals and identifying core values that steer leadership decisions. Discover how SMART goals can transform large, daunting objectives into smaller, achievable milestones, keeping your team motivated and focused. We provide vivid comparisons between two leaders, Marie and Jennifer, to illustrate how deeply ingrained values and a well-crafted mission statement can guide conflict resolution and decision-making. Additionally, we delve into the complexities of human motivation, drawing insights from Kenneth Burke's theory of dramatism to help you better understand your team's needs and motivations.
Finally, we offer advanced strategies for effective leadership, covering aspects like conflict resolution, delegation, and trust-building. Learn how to foster a harmonious work environment by avoiding micromanagement and encouraging your team to propose solutions. Real-world examples, such as the transition of Teresa into her new role and Wayne's conflict-resolution journey, serve as practical guides. We also emphasize the importance of being open to feedback and understanding team dynamics through Dr. Meredith Belbin’s team roles. Join us to gain comprehensive insights that could transform your leadership approach and foster a more effective and respected work environment.
Sign up for our self-paced courses or instructor-led workshops at www.ht-a.solutions
Sign up for our self-paced courses or instructor-led workshops at www.ht-a.solutions
Sign up for our self-paced courses or instructor-led workshops at www.ht-a.solutions
Being a likable boss Module 1. Getting started. While many who enter into management and leadership roles want to be genuinely liked by the workers they supervise, seeking popularity for its own sake can be a dead-end path. Many have tried to lead while seeking popularity, only to find that, indeed, they are loved but not respected. Becoming a more likable boss, however, does not mean you have to sacrifice respect. Being a likable boss and boss, however, does not mean you have to sacrifice respect. Being a likable boss and a respected boss does mean you have to learn to be more effective. This course helps you take the first steps of what will be a continuous journey towards becoming a more effective boss, the side effects of which are both likability and respect. Module 2. Is it better to be loved or feared? This famous question comes down to us from Nicola Machiavelli, a political theorist who lived in Italy during the Renaissance. He contended that a leader who is feared is preferable to a leader who is loved. However, he also lived during a time of great political instability, when city governments changed in a flash, usually violently and usually involving executions of the previous leadership, since we no longer live in an age when stepping down from a leadership position or being removed would involve the loss of one's head. Do we really need to adopt the route that proved so disastrous for such ruthless dictators as Saddam Hussein and Augusto Pinochet?
Speaker 1:An authoritarian approach to leadership is not all bad. Some people in leadership positions might still maintain that leaders who approach their employees with a sense of antagonism have fewer instances where employees take advantage of them. They can use tough love to whip employees into shape. Where supervisors who aim for popularity fail in setting boundaries for their employees, authoritarian leaders make those boundaries clear through well-defined consequences for crossing them. This approach to leadership seldom suffers from employees taking liberties or taking advantage of a perceived weakness from the supervisor. Well, that's a case closed, then right, make sure that you scare your employees and they will treat you with respect and dare not cross you. This has been a great training session. Thank you for participating. Good luck If it were only so easy.
Speaker 1:While an authoritarian approach to leadership might give you the appearance of being respected, it's not so likely that this respect would be genuine. Real respect must be earned and involves respecting others. If you genuinely care about your employees, you may not have to work so hard getting them to do what needs to be done, uncovering instances where they were too afraid to approach you, or squashing conflicts with your employees that might tend to flare up when you approach your leadership role from an authoritarian standpoint. Perhaps being loved is not such a useless approach to effective leadership. The problem in leadership isn't being more loved, nor is it being feared more. Both have their upsides, but each also has its downside. Beloved leaders might be popular, but they might also be easily manipulated and put into unnecessary situations where it feels as if the inmates are running the asylum. Conversely, those who use fear as a leadership tactic frequently have to deal with such issues as insubordination or dishonesty from their employees. In addition, a work environment that is marked by fear turns into a poisonous place to work. Authoritarian leaders often experience higher rates of turnover from their employees. This means time that might otherwise be productively spent is now redirected towards training new employees. Any efficiency such a leader hoped to gain by cracking the whip has been lost when employees won't stay for any length of time.
Speaker 1:There must be an intermediary way. Since both leadership styles have both upsides and downsides, perhaps the best approach is to be a little bit of both. Like an authoritative leader, you want to have clear boundaries with clear consequences. But you do not want to create a fearful and poisonous work environment where everyone is trying to stab each other in the back and no one will tell you the truth, but only what you want to hear. In addition, a middle ground approach would mean that you do value your employees as people. You are genuinely interested in their lives. You understand that respect is a two-way street and must be earned, yet you impose clear boundaries. While you and your employees may be equal in both a personal and possibly even earned, yet you impose clear boundaries. While you and your employees may be equal in both a personal and possibly even a professional sense, you have a different job than your employees. You face a different set of pressures. The key to understanding whether it is better to be loved or feared is considering the big picture in the long term and in each situation, which approach would be more effective for that situation?
Speaker 1:Steve and Angela were both recently promoted to a management position. While Steve tried to crack the whip and boss his employees around, angela tried to get to know her employees and worked on making them happy. Soon, steve found all of his employees either quitting on him or they no longer were friendly with him. His employees would do their work, but often it was the bare minimum. The work environment when he was in charge became quiet, serious and tense. When Angela was in charge, the effect was like a ray of sunshine lighting up a dark room. Employees laughed and joked with her and with each other, but they also worked extremely hard.
Speaker 1:Module 3. Leadership as Service. Whether you prefer an authoritative leadership style, a lenient one or something in between, one factor that can truly enhance your effectiveness in leadership is to see yourself as serving the needs of your employees even as you serve the needs of your company or organization. Often, these two sets of needs will coincide. The needs of your employees are the needs of a well-run organization as well. Coincide the needs of your employees are the needs of a well-run organization as well. When they do contradict. Seeing yourself as a kind of servant to your employees can help you to better weigh your priorities in both the long and short terms.
Speaker 1:The traditional form of hierarchy in business organizations is known as a top-down or vertical structure. This means that you have a clear ranking, from CEO to mailroom clerk, and everyone understands their place. This structure has both advantages and disadvantages. If you are a leader in this type of organization. It is helpful to understand what those advantages and disadvantages are in order to better serve the needs of your employees. Advantages you always know who is in charge and who to report to. Decision-making is efficient. Advancement of the career ladder is clearly defined. Disadvantages the potential for power-based politics and maneuvering can result in flattering and yes-man type behavior rather than providing accurate information. Employees at the bottom can feel less of a stake in the goals of a company. If you have a weak leader, you will have a weak organization. Information from management and higher-ups is prone to distortion as it trickles down through multiple filters. Both management and employees can have a distorted understanding of what the other group does and has to deal with.
Speaker 1:An alternative to the traditional vertical organizational structure is known as a lateral or horizontal structure. In this structure, the different departments are administered by project managers who report to an upper management and serve as a conduit between the team and the administrators. This approach has its own pros and cons. Advantages this approach tends to reinforce creativity and innovation because employees are more willing to take risks when they know that they won't lose status in doing so. The organization can better adapt to changes in circumstances because communication does not have to go through as many filters. Employees have a greater feeling of stake in the organization. Employees have a greater sense of autonomy, which can lead to greater development of a wide array of skills.
Speaker 1:Disadvantages when something goes wrong. The lack of a clear structure can lead to blaming of different teams and departments. Decision-making can be a slow process. The lack of authoritarian supervisors can lead to an undisciplined and chaotic work environment. Transitions from vertical to horizontal organization structures can be difficult because those used to authoritarian management styles find it difficult to adjust to seeing co-workers as peers.
Speaker 1:Regardless of which organizational structure you employ, to lead effectively, it helps to know your employees on a personal and professional level. Obviously, with larger corporations, the former is more difficult than the latter, but taking the time to get to know your employees as people can help inform your decision-making in ways that not only affect employee morale, but also help in crafting more effective approaches. If you understand what it is like to work on the front lines, you can better address problems in such a way that does not create additional problems. Keeping abreast of what goes on in your employees' lives can also help you in addressing each person as an individual. Brian Brown Walker's commentary on the I Ching offers some excellent advice about leadership.
Speaker 1:Gentleness and understanding. Create in others an unconscious willingness to be led. When you can genuinely understand where your employees are coming from, you are able to know exactly what to do or say to get the best results from them. This requires developing your own capacity for empathy. Here are some suggestions for developing your empathy Listen you may not always understand where an employee is coming from. Even the most creative and open-minded of people can fail to grasp another individual's unique circumstances. Consequently, the only way you can understand where others are coming from is by listening to them. Listening in this sense is not merely listening to the words a person says, but listening for the underlying needs that the person may be expressing, even while failing to articulate.
Speaker 1:This Validate Particularly in times where people seem far apart in their beliefs. It's really easy to look at a person with whom you disagree and see an enemy. However, we all have the capacity to feel the same types of emotions, whether these are fear, anger or joy. We also all have the same basic needs. When you try to recognize that beneath any disagreement are two people who need love and respect, it's not so easy to see someone you disagree with as the enemy.
Speaker 1:Consider your own attitude. When you find yourself in a disagreement with someone else, ask yourself what you want from the interaction. Do you want to see the other person punished? Is this about winning or being right? Wanting to see another person punished presumes that you know best a dangerously arrogant attitude, especially from a leader who should be looking to serve employees. Suspend your own viewpoint when you are trying to understand another person's feelings. Your own point of view is an unnecessary perspective. In fact, it gets in the way of seeing another's point of view. Remember that suspending your views is not the same as dropping them or changing them. Your viewpoint will still be there if you still need it.
Speaker 1:Alice was running late to work. She was nervous about being late, but she was not afraid because she knew that her boss, juan, would understand he was strict about tardiness, but he would listen to your explanation and take that into account. Instead of trying to sneak into work, she went straight to Juan first and let him know why she was late. This was fortunate because Juan had given the rest of his employees specific instructions for how to handle a particular customer service call that was coming in more frequently that day If Alice had tried to sneak past Juan, she would have taken the first customer service call and handled it incorrectly.
Speaker 1:Module 4. Leadership by Design. Few people are actually born to leadership. Most people have to learn how to become good leaders. One important aspect of good leadership is knowing what you are trying to lead others to. This involves careful consideration beforehand. To lead others, too, this involves careful consideration beforehand. Having a plan means that you know what the end result should look like. This can apply to your work environment, the culture or what you expect from your employees. By having a clear idea of what you want from your employees and what you want from yourself, you put yourself in a better position to plan how to meet your goals. In addition to company-wide goals, each leader of a team should have specific goals for their team that complement the company's goals. These goals can inform how you make policy and what kind of team culture you foster. If you have ever been involved in meetings or team-building exercises that have seemed to be fun but ultimately pointless or a waste of time, you can understand the need to have clear goals to strive for. Then activities such as meetings, exercises or other activities assume a greater importance In order to be effective at setting and reaching goals, it is helpful to use the SMART acronym Specific.
Speaker 1:When you establish specific goals for your team rather than general goals, you are far more likely to follow through Measurable. One of the reasons for making a goal specific is so you can measure what the successful completion of that goal looks like an important aspect of beginning with the end in mind Achievable. If a goal is too easy, it can also be easy to justify giving up on it because it's not important enough. Make sure you set goals for your team that are challenging but achievable. Realistic. While being ambitious can help you to achieve large goals, being too ambitious can often lead to rebellion, both in your team and in yourself.
Speaker 1:Time-targeted when you decide on setting a goal, you must also decide on when you expect your team to achieve that goal. You must be specific. This allows you to organize your goal-achieving behavior with a deadline. In addition to being smart, your goal-achieving behavior with a deadline. In addition to being smart about goal setting, there are some other steps you can take that will help you remain committed to achieving your goals. Tell someone else about your goal. This will help to keep you accountable and committed.
Speaker 1:When appropriate, divide your team goals into smaller milestones. When you collectively reach a milestone, reward your team. Small rewards can help your team to stay enthusiastic. If your team fails to meet a milestone, don't use this as an occasion to beat them or yourself up or to give up. Instead, determine where and how you failed and how to avoid doing so in the future. Most importantly, don't give up. Perhaps the single most important step is to choose a goal that is meaningful to you, your team and to the company. Setting goals for yourself, your team and, in some cases, your company, are important aspects of developing a plan for your leadership. However, on another level, these goals are actually not as big picture as you can get. To really understand how you can lead others, you must account for your own values and the company's values as well. When you have a good grasp on what is important to you, this can clarify when to stand your ground and when to relent when you disagree with others, which is a position you will find yourself in often as a leader.
Speaker 1:Values are not the same as morals and ethics. In fact, what you value is unique to you and can change over time. How can you know what you value? The following steps can help Identify one of your happiest moments in your life. Who were you with? What were you doing? What factors contributed to your happiness? Identify one of your proudest moments in life. Was this a shared experience With whom? What elements in the experience made you feel proud? Identify one of your most fulfilling moments. Rather than a happiest moment, this would be when you felt the greatest sense of satisfaction. What need was fulfilled? When you work on determining your core values, identifying anywhere from 5 to 10 values should be sufficient. More than 10 can make decision-making too confusing. When values are in conflict, identifying which ones take precedent can help clarify your thinking in these moments.
Speaker 1:Since your values can change, reassessment on a regular basis can help you to determine if these values still apply. Ask yourself if you are proud, happy and fulfilled by these values. Ask yourself if you would feel comfortable identifying your core values to another human being. If the answer to either of these questions is no, then you should probably reassess. While it is both possible and likely to value other people, this may not be as helpful as valuing abstract principles which exist outside of individuals. Principles such as honesty, adventurousness, etc. Can serve as signposts for your behavior and decisions throughout your life. Imagine you are somehow able to listen in at your funeral. What will everyone say about you? What would you like to be said about you?
Speaker 1:Now that you have taken the time to identify some specific goals and some core values, the next step is to write out a mission statement. Think of the mission statement as a kind of personal constitution. Just as the US government uses the US Constitution as a guide toward decision-making, this mission statement can help to serve as your guide. This can be your own personal mission statement, but it is also helpful to work out a mission statement with your team. However, the most important step in making these mission statements is that you have identified what you truly value and understand why you have set the goals that you have set, both for your team and for yourself.
Speaker 1:Jennifer and Marie had both been promoted at the same time. Both were encouraged to write a personal mission statement as a guide for their decisions. Marie spent weeks thinking about her values and making her mission statement. Jennifer procrastinated, jotting down catch-all words like synergy and win-win. When they started working with teams, marie faced a team conflict. One of her core values was cooperation over competition. She helped her employees work through their issues. Both of her employees felt empowered, thinking they fixed the issues themselves. Jennifer, however, faced a conflict and fell short. She took her work home with her and would second-guess herself, and found her employees didn't take her seriously.
Speaker 1:Module 5. Understanding Motivation. You can't always get into the head of another person. Even if this were possible, understanding what motivates another person can be so complex that even that person is unaware of their motivations. However, to a certain degree, the essence of leadership is getting others to do what you need them to do, as if it were their original plan.
Speaker 1:While you may not be able to specifically identify another person's motives, there is a good rule of thumb that was developed by Kenneth Burke, called dramatism. The great Canadian rock band Rush once sang All the world's, indeed a stage, and we are merely players, to be fair. They borrowed this notion from William Shakespeare, who noted that each person is like the star actor in their own play. Kenneth Burke developed his theory of dramatism based on this notion. If you understand that people see themselves as the star of their own drama, this can be the first step towards making a good guess as to what motivates them. If you can, at the very least, think in terms of how other people are motivated, you are better able to develop compassion for them. If you can, at the very least, think in terms of how other people are motivated, you are better able to develop compassion for them. With compassion, you are better able to understand another person's needs and how to meet those needs, while motivating the person to help meet yours or your company's needs.
Speaker 1:The key aspect of Burke's Dramatism is referred to as the Pentad, but if you have ever taken a class in journalism, you may recognize the pentad in another form the five W's. The pentad and the five W's are similar and both allow you to think about who is doing what to whom and how and why they are doing it. Here is the pentad and how it relates to the five W's Scene. The scene of something is the same thing as the where and the one of the five W's. This doesn't merely refer to the physical place where something may be occurring, but to the overall environment as well. When and where something occurs may explain exactly why the situation is playing out the way it is. Agent this refers to the actor or actors in a given situation. This also corresponds to the who and the five W's.
Speaker 1:When you look for motives behind people's behaviors. Who they are can be one source of motives, but their environment and the other factors of the pentad could also be sources for motives. For example, someone who comes to work not dressed properly may be simply rebelling against work policies. In this case, the motive is more about this particular person. Another possible motive, however, is that this person has been out of work so long that they do not have the nice clothes needed to meet the office policy. In this case, the motive is not really about the person or agent, but more about the scene or situation, this person having been out of work so long to not have the appropriate clothes Act.
Speaker 1:The act is similar to the what in the five W's. It is the action that is taking place in a given situation. If you assign some work to an employee who didn't finish the work in the time you expected, you could look at motivation in terms of the agent. In this case, the employee needs more training or maybe doesn't work as hard as you would expect. However, another possible motive lies in the action itself. Perhaps the task you assigned is a complicated enough task that cannot be accomplished in the time you expect, or this can at least be a major factor Agency.
Speaker 1:The agency aspect of the pentad does not strictly conform to the five W's. However, if you add the question of how this gets to what agency is referring to In the previous example, the nature of the work that you assign to the employee might be difficult, and you may already realize that the employee is a diligent worker who tends to perform well. However, if the employee picked an inefficient way to go about working on the assignment, this could explain why it didn't meet up with your expectations. This would place the motive under agency, where the problem is not the act itself nor the agent or scene, but instead the problem is in how the agent is going about doing the act.
Speaker 1:Purpose, the purpose part of the pentad corresponds to the Y of the five W's. Imagine that in our previous example you gave an assignment to an employee who didn't complete the assignment in what you considered was a reasonable amount of time. If you have looked at all the other aspects of the pentad to get an idea of why this is so, analyzing the purpose may help. Perhaps your employee didn't understand why this task was necessary or what it was trying to accomplish. As you can see when you use the pen tab to analyze situations. It allows you to think about all the different aspects of a situation. An effective leader won't simply blame the employee for not living up to an expectation. Instead, leaders who are effective can analyze the different aspects of a situation in terms of the pen tab, to understand the situation better. It may turn out that the employee was perfectly justified in not living up to an expectation and you have saved both the employee and yourself the hard feelings created from a misplaced lecture.
Speaker 1:According to Burke, on some level, most people in our society and culture are motivated by guilt. He uses this term loosely to include emotions such as shame, disgust, anxiety and embarrassment. From this viewpoint, people act to try to avoid guilt emotions or to find redemption, which is what makes those feelings go away. It is this attempt to move from guilt to redemption that puts an individual's drama in dramatism. There are a few factors that contribute in a large way to people's feelings of guilt and inadequacy the social order or hierarchy. As people interact with each other, we unconsciously and unconsciously create a sort of pecking order through our language and concepts. This gives individuals a sense of relation to others in terms of being perceived as equals or as superior or inferior to another person or group of people. The negative in this sense is an act of rejecting your place in this perceived social order. Burke used the term rotten with perfection to describe the situation where people realize that their place in a social hierarchy is to some degree arbitrary. Those who inhabit a superior position may feel guilt or anxiety, because our language includes a notion of perfection that is impossible to achieve in actuality. For example, someone who is known for being particularly generous might experience shame or guilt for wanting to put themselves first on occasion. The idea of perfect generosity is unattainable, so the person feels guilty, pushing them to seek redemption. Conversely, someone in an inferior social position might realize that they are not as lowly as circumstances bear out, and this becomes motivation towards redemption.
Speaker 1:Victimage is another factor in this drama, where the guilty person lays the blame for their circumstances on an external source, another person or societal condition. There are two types of victimage universal, which blames everyone and everything, and fractional, where a person blames a specific group or individual. In vilifying the other person, the guilty person can assume a heroic role in their drama. Redemption is the final stage of this type of drama, where the person purges guilt through a kind of death, either symbolic, as in a transformation in character or a confession of one's sins or misdeeds, or, in actuality, by truly dying. It is uncommon and disrespectful, for example, to speak ill of the dead.
Speaker 1:Burke considered the redemption stage a transformation where one transcends the old order of social hierarchies and a new order is created. You can look at Burke's transition from guilt to redemption as following two paths. The first begins with the status quo, followed by guilt or anxiety about one's place in that status quo, followed by identifying a scapegoat, followed by confession and repentance, which lead to the transformation of the old order into a new order. This description of the move from guilt to redemption can be helpful in understanding how people come to actively dislike others. Often at the root of ill will is a feeling of inadequacy and guilt in an individual.
Speaker 1:Another aspect of Burke's theory of dramatism is called identification. If you have ever heard someone say or have said yourself I can really identify with that person. You're getting at the heart of what Burke means by identification. In some ways it is the opposite of victimage. When you identify with someone else, you are able to feel empathy and compassion for them. In identification, something of you rubs off on the other person with whom you identify and something of that person rubs off on you. In leadership, you can create an unconscious willingness to be led in another person by identifying with that person and trying to meet the other person's needs. When you go out of your way to allow an employee off for a vacation they are excited about you. Create in that person a willingness to follow you and make your goals their goals.
Speaker 1:Marjorie noticed that James had come into work upset. He seemed frustrated and aggressive. Instead of getting angry at James' disruptive behavior, marjorie thought about why he might be acting this way. She remembered that James had come back from a long weekend where he was going to visit his father, whom he hadn't seen in a decade. She asked him if he would join her in her office to discuss how he was doing. She asked how meeting his father had gone and he began to cry. She talked with him for a while and asked him if he needed a day off. He thanked her for her concern and returned to his work with an added energy.
Speaker 1:Module 6. Constructive Criticism Understanding what motivates the people you are leading is a great way to better assist them, but you also have other pressures upon you as a leader which can include your ultimate goal for your company as well as pressure from higher-ups in your own hierarchy. What's more, even when you are an understanding and compassionate leader, some may seek to test this. The difference between an understanding but effective leader versus a weak leader is how well you respond when people attempt, either consciously or unintentionally, to cross boundaries. When someone engages in behavior that's detrimental to your overall leadership vision, you occasionally have to intervene. What's important in this case is that you intervene in an effective way that makes the situation better for everyone involved. When you have to criticize or correct an employee, one of the most important things to consider are your own motivations.
Speaker 1:While it may be tempting to want to punish an employee who acts up, this can frequently create a poisonous environment where the employee misses the message of improvement and only hears a message that involves asserting your superior position over that employee. This can recreate a sense of a parent-child relationship, which runs counter to seeing the other person involved as a person and an equal who deserves respect. Punishment often has unintended consequences as well. If you look at the number of criminals who leave prison only to return again after a time, it becomes evident that punishment can harden someone into repeating behaviors as much as it can deter that person from those behaviors. Sometimes it is helpful to retreat from a potentially volatile interaction. Rather than addressing a person when you are angry, you can use email to schedule a time to address an issue, for example, which has the additional purpose of allowing you to restore your own emotional balance. Ultimately, you're in conflict with an employee because they have crossed a boundary, whether it's a social boundary or one related to your expectations for work.
Speaker 1:The more productive and effective approach is to find a way to correct the behavior, rather than finding a way to punish the employee. Effective approach is to find a way to correct the behavior rather than finding a way to punish the employee. One way to approach an intervention where you need to let an employee know about an area of improvement or an intolerable behavior that needs to be corrected is to try to envision the situation playing out in such a way that there are no losers. Instead, you want to consider a way in which everyone has an opportunity to come out a winner. For an employee who has trouble with being at work on time or at all, this might be a powerful move that allows that employee to take greater responsibility in their life, an improvement that can carry over into the long term. For example, when you develop a positive vision of what a successful correction looks like, you are better able to stay out of the punishment or blaming mentality that so often sabotages good intentions and well-meaning criticism.
Speaker 1:Experiencing criticism can be a stressful situation, and the common approach towards hearing criticism is to prepare a defense. One way to soften another person's experience of your criticism is to use the idea of a feedback sandwich. Instead of telling people what they are doing wrong all at once, you can mix the negative with genuine positive comments. It's important that these are genuine, however, or you can come across as insincere and manipulative and lose any goodwill or trust you might have earned with your employees. Finding a positive thing to say about an employee who needs correction serves an additional purpose as well. Whenever you are angry at another person, a good tactic to help spur your thinking away from that person's faults is to consider something positive about that person. Having something good to say about your employee can help to put the entire situation into a more manageable perspective.
Speaker 1:When you set goals, it's important that you set a goal that is achievable and corresponds to a time frame. Similarly, when you intervene with an employee about an area that needs improvement, it is helpful to have a definite view of success as well as a time frame for when you can check back with the employee. This follow-up will work better when it is approached as an how are you doing with this? Rather than an have you done what I told you to style conversation? Furthermore, you should consider avoiding two types of extremes not following up at all and overdoing your follow-up by continuously returning to the issue. When you initially discuss the issue with your employee, it will be most effective if you both identify a time in the future to schedule a follow-up conversation where you can check in with each other. If you never follow up, it erodes your credibility when you do offer constructive criticism, because it makes it seem as if there was no real need for criticism. On the other hand, if you continuously come back to the situation that prompted the criticism, you put the employee into a guilt redemption type drama. If you follow up with your employee at a scheduled time and that employee has not shown improvement, you can reassess what needs to be done further and use that time to schedule another follow-up. Keeping your follow-up structured can help you avoid the pitfalls that can turn following up and being invested in your employee's success into a form of harassing.
Speaker 1:Your employee, cedric, was upset with Ginny, one of his employees, because she was consistently a couple of minutes late to work. Today she was over an hour late. He knew if he confronted her about it right now, he might only communicate his anger and not the need to change her behavior. He looked at her file and found that while she was late almost every day, she also stayed late to handle the last customers. When they met. She explained that her car had broken down. Cedric understood and expressed concern with her frequent tardiness and suggested ways to arrive on time. He also told her that he did appreciate her tendency to stay after work.
Speaker 1:Module 7. The Importance of Tone. In your role as leader or manager, you will often find yourself in situations where you have to perform well even when you are not at your best. One truth about effective leadership is that when things go right, you will want to deflect the praise to your team members, but when things go wrong, it's all your fault. This can put you under constant pressure, and some of your more socially conscious and astute employees might recognize this fact, but most won't. Nevertheless, employees and supervisors can forgive much when you approach them with the right tone.
Speaker 1:You will often find yourself in a position where you need to get your employees energized and motivated to work hard and enthusiastically. One who has adopted the rule through fear paradigm will consider this the time to become forceful and aggressive, but this can frequently backfire. Instead, an effective leader uses inspiration and positivity to harness enthusiasm in employees. Lighting a fire isn't akin to burning down the house, so much as shining a light to guide your employees. Here are some suggestions for increasing employees' enthusiasm. Share inspiring quotes, speeches or ideas. While the movie the Wolf of Wall Street is not a great example of ethical leadership, it does give a good idea of how powerfully inspiration can foster enthusiasm in employees. This is why coaches in professional sports like to give the win-one-for-the-gipper-style speeches. Use upbeat music to get people going. Music that has a good beat and makes people want to dance also helps to instill enthusiasm and a kind of esprit de corps. Celebrate group and individual successes in order to foster a positive and forward-looking morale.
Speaker 1:If you're successfully engaging your employees, it is inevitable that small conflicts will arise. While it might be tempting to see these conflicts as a negative and in truth, if they are allowed to rage out of control, they will have negative effects. The fact that people are engaged enough to get angry or tense shows that they are employing their creative energies, and that's a positive. However, when tempers flare, it takes a calm leader to be the eye of the storm and channel that energy in positive ways or calm it so that employees can function productively. Here are some suggestions Always address conflicts from a place of calm.
Speaker 1:You may have to take a time out, or allow others to take a time out from their own anger. Try to do so from a place of empathy and understanding. Avoid calling out employees in front of others. For example, when two employees are in conflict with each other, send one of them on a break while you discuss the situation with the other. Be sure and give each employee the chance to tell their side of the conflict and make sure you listen more than you talk. When you speak to your employees about conflicts, make sure you are specific and that you address the issue in terms of behavior and not in terms of the employee's character traits. Discuss how the conflict affects the rest of your team, but avoid doing so with an accusatory tone. Allow employees to give you their understanding of what caused the conflict, rather than identifying the cause yourself. Additionally, allow employees to suggest solutions for resolving the conflict, if necessary and appropriate. Act as a mediator between two employees who have had a conflict with each other. However, when doing so, make sure everyone can address each other from a place of calm. Allow everyone involved to agree upon the appropriate action to take in order to restore the peace. Most importantly, communicate from a place of mutual respect for all parties involved. Often, in the aftermath of a conflict, the parties involved may feel either embarrassment or they may feel resentment towards the other parties involved. Help to restore the sense of mutual respect by treating all parties with the same degree of respect, regardless of any perception of their level of fault or culpability in the conflict.
Speaker 1:One idea that comes to us from the psychological approach of transactional analysis is that when people interact with each other, they tend to slip into preformed scripts based on how they have experienced authority from authority figures when they were children. These scripts can frequently allow people to engage in escalating behaviors that create vicious cycles of conflict. Transactional analysis recognizes three primary styles of behavior in social interactions Child A person's need to escape responsibility can cause them to slip into child mode, where they can act dismissive and rebellious. People operating in child mode often dismiss other people's criticisms and maintain an attitude they are going to do what they want, regardless of how others feel. Parent when someone feels a need to assert control over a situation, often in a case where they feel powerless, they may slip into parent mode. From the sound of it, you might think this is an example of where someone has adopted the voice of reason, but more often than not, it is the voice of authority, and not a very reasonable authority at that. If you have ever experienced someone talking to you as if you were a child, that person was most likely operating in parent mode. Adult the ideal mode to operate in is adult mode. Those who operate from this mode are concerned with reality as it is, rather than disregarding reality, like someone might do who is operating in child mode, or trying to control reality like someone operating in parent mode mode, or trying to control reality like someone operating in parent mode. If the child, parent and adult mode behaviors are scripts that people slip into, what keeps people playing their roles and how can someone slip out of a role?
Speaker 1:In transactional analysis, there are two types of transactions complementary and crossed. A complementary transaction means the behavioral modes match up and can continue indefinitely. One person's child mode evokes another person's parent mode, and things can spiral out of control into perpetual conflict. In order to intervene, one person has to engage in a behavioral mode that doesn't complement the other's behavior. This creates a cross-transaction. When a transaction becomes crossed, this destabilizes the scripted behaviors, where those involved seek to find a new complementary behavior. Keep in mind that in this scheme, parent-to-child and vice versa is complementary, but so too is adult-to-adult. The way to change the script, then, is for someone to adopt an adult mode of behavior. When this turns the transaction from a complementary transaction to a cross-transaction, the other person seeks to find a new equilibrium in a new complementary transaction, so they will in turn also assume the complementary adult role.
Speaker 1:Heath, expecting a report from Alex, emailed him asking about his progress. Alex replied in an email quit badgering me, I'll finish it when I'm ready to. Alex's childish response angered Heath, but he decided not to react in anger. He did not reply to Alex's email. Until he had calmed down, he asked Alex to meet with him and asked if anything was wrong. Alex told him that he had misunderstood the tone of Heath's email. Alex thought that Heath was upset with him for not having the report finished. Working together, they found that Alex could be more efficient with his time. A week later, alex seemed less stressed out and more efficient.
Speaker 1:Modulate Trusting your team. When you lead others, you will find that they will rise and fall to the expectations you set for them. If you trust your team and act to be worthy of their trust, they will strive to be worthy of your trust. One of the most difficult habits to keep under control when leading others is the tendency to micromanage. As someone who has a great deal of responsibility within the company, as well as being emotionally invested, it is tempting to try and do it all yourself. However, micromanaging, even for the most tireless of managers, is the kiss of death in being an effective leader. The dangers of micromanaging are manifold. Your employees will come to resent always having you looking over their shoulder, which can undermine whatever other positive qualities you have going for you as a manager.
Speaker 1:Another tragic consequence of micromanaging is that you stunt your employees' growth. In order for each employee to become the best they can be, you have to encourage them to find their own way. Sometimes they may not do something in the same way that you would, and standing aside may result in their failure. Keep in mind, however, that failure is often a prelude to success. Allowing an employee to make a mistake is akin to allowing that employee to grow and become better.
Speaker 1:Here are some suggestions to help you avoid the temptation to micromanage. Develop a rule where employees cannot come to you with a problem unless they have also thought of two solutions to that problem. While having an open-door policy is helpful in building a rapport with your employees and it is useful in serving the needs of your employees, you must consider how useful you are being to those employees if you stand in the way of their growth. Consider limiting your employees' access to you in some ways. One possibility is to allow a certain time of day for open access, while other times of day are reserved for appointment only. A third suggestion is to resist the urge to jump in at any sign of difficulty. Instead, count slowly to 10 and consider whether this is one of those times where your help is truly necessary, versus one of those times where, in helping your employees, you are actually hurting them.
Speaker 1:What frequently stops us from delegating responsibilities to our employees is a fear that they may fail us. However, this distrust of our employees can be more damaging than failure itself. Living in fear keeps our lives in holding patterns and we never grow or allow others to grow. There is no reason to be afraid of failure, because it is inevitable. If, however, we are able to view failure as a learning opportunity, then we can become comfortable with the idea and learn to take risks. Here are some suggestions to help you manage your trepidation about delegation.
Speaker 1:Write down your concerns rather than voicing them or allowing them to swirl in your head. This can help to ventilate anxieties. Manage your stress levels through exercise. When you do this regularly, you will tend to feel better physically, which gives emotions such as anxiety less room to take hold. Meditate regularly to practice staying in the present. Worry is a future-oriented activity, but one over which you have little control. Appreciate and celebrate healthy progress over perfection. Our notion of a perfect situation, a perfectly performed task or any other number of perfect things that we can imagine is actually a linguistic construction. Actual perfection is something that is completely beyond our control. Learn to recognize and counteract magnification, a distorted thinking pattern where you imagine the worst possibility as the most likely possibility.
Speaker 1:Often, when you feel in the grips of an arousal emotion such as anxiety, you tend to think in shorthand and images rather than in complete sentences. Identifying this shorthand, converting it into complete sentences and investigating the logic of that can help lessen your feeling of anxiety. For example, when you delegate an important task to an employee, your anxiety over the situation might prompt shorthand thoughts such as failure, disaster, poor house. Translating this into a complete sentence might look like if my employee fails, I will be blamed for the worst possible disaster that can occur at this company. Then I will be fired and go to the poorhouse. Now that you have translated the shorthand into a complete sentence, ask yourself if you would truly be fired over this. Often, you wouldn't have the level of responsibility you have if your bosses were going to be so quick to fire you.
Speaker 1:One more aspect of delegation can help limit your anxiety. You must delegate in a proper manner. Delegating tasks blindly or randomly can turn disastrous if the person you have delegated a task to is not suited to that task. Fortunately, one reward of getting to know your employees is that you can gain an idea of what each employee excels at by tailoring the tasks you delegate to your employees' strengths, you put them in a better position to succeed, and their success is ultimately your success, even if you will inevitably give them all the credit. By putting your aces in their places, you also foster a sense of belonging and importance to each member of your team. If an employee knows that they are in that role because you handpicked them for it, this will pay huge dividends in that person's own confidence, which helps to maximize their performance. In order to get the most out of your employees, it is helpful to foster a culture of mutual celebration of success, and no success is too small to escape such celebration. Take time out to recognize a job well done and you will encourage additional successes. Cultivating certain emotions in your employees, such as enthusiasm, optimism, confidence and tenacity, will help them to perform better and enjoy further successes.
Speaker 1:Teresa had been very good at her job before being promoted to project coordinator. In her new role, she found it hard to let Harrison do her old job. She was always hovering over Harrison, which would make him nervous and prone to mistakes. He asked if he could try working on the project alone. Teresa agreed, but was still nervous. She took a deep breath, counted to 10 and decided to let Harrison handle it. He finished up his initial strategy paper for the project and brought it to Teresa. When she saw it, she realized Harrison was very talented and made a point to praise his work in front of the other team members.
Speaker 1:Module 9. Earning the trust of your team, avoiding micromanagement, delegating tasks properly and celebrating successes are all ways to increase your high regard and trust for your team. But trust is a two-way street. An effective leader is one whom the followers will trust implicitly. Trust, like respect, does not come automatically. Some people may be naturally inclined to trust people, but the degree of trust you need to lead effectively must be earned. The most important way to earn trust is to consistently be honest. This can even be helpful when admitting you are wrong or that you don't know the answer. Employees will respect someone who can admit vulnerability more than someone who tries to hide behind a veneer of perfection.
Speaker 1:Lying to your employees, buttering them up with fake sentiment or taking credit for their successes are quick ways to make them distrust you. Once employees distrust you, your ability to lead them effectively becomes nearly impossible. However, honesty should never be used as a weapon. You may occasionally have to tell an employee how it is, but this is exactly where considerations of tone and intent become vitally important, in addition to being honest. An effective leader will earn trust by being reliable in everything they do. Conversely, if you prove unreliable, employees will not trust you. This makes it vital to follow through on everything you say. If you indicate that there is a boundary that employees should not cross, you must address it when that boundary is crossed, even if it is with a mild response such as don't do that again. If you say you will give an employee certain requested time off, then you must accomplish this. If you tell an employee you will follow up, then it is vital to follow up. Being reliable also means being consistent.
Speaker 1:Ignoring one employee's misdeeds or successes is as bad as ignoring every employee's success or misdeed. In some ways, it is even worse, because it can communicate a sense of favoritism. The level of pressure and the amount of work you have before you may make it impossible to meet every one of your commitments. However, you can lessen this reality through adopting the following suggestions Keep a well-organized planner, either a calendar or some sort of organizing system where you can write down your commitments. Make a point to acknowledge your receipt of employees' requests in writing, but also remind employees that you must have requests in writing as well.
Speaker 1:Don't over-promise and under-deliver. If you aren't sure if you can award time off, don't tell the employee that you can. One of the most important things you can tell an employee, and yet one of the most difficult is that you don't know or you are not sure. While you may fear that this will undermine your employee's confidence in you, you can counter this with a statement that you will find out. Make sure that you follow up, however, if you do make that promise, if you find that you are unable to meet a previous obligation you made, make sure that you inform the other person as soon as possible. Sometimes an emergency can come up or the situation can change. You don't need to offer a full explanation most of the time, although in some cases it may be necessary and appreciated, but you do need to let the other person know as soon as you know. If you have a meeting with an employee scheduled, try at that point to reschedule it.
Speaker 1:Making yourself available to your employees is another vital aspect of building trust. This can be tricky, however, and you have to use good judgment in determining how available you need to make yourself in order to avoid micromanaging. Nevertheless, you should always allow some time where employees can approach you. If an employee feels you are unapproachable or feels intimidated by you, it can create a situation where you are the last to know about something important going on. While you want to encourage employees to not over-rely on you, you also want employees to feel they can come to you when they need to. Striking the correct balance can take time and can vary from employee to employee. Some employees may develop better confidence in themselves by being left to their own devices. Others, particularly new employees, might need your presence a bit more, but it's best to think of yourself in this situation as being like training wheels on a bicycle. At some point, the training wheels need to come off. Even then, however, your employees will trust you more, knowing that you will figuratively catch them if they fall by being supportive and constructive.
Speaker 1:It may seem as if openness is the same thing as honesty, but there is a bit more to it. Being open is a twofold characteristic. On the one hand, you want to be upfront about your vision for your team, your plan for their success and even, when appropriate, what changes may be in store. Sometimes, you may be in a position of knowing something that's going to happen, and the circumstances won't allow you to inform your employees. However, if employees sense that something is about to happen, they can feel anxious. Since changes in work can affect a person's livelihood, this anxiety cannot be overlooked or dismissed. Try to engage in empathy about the effect of keeping information from your employees. This can get tricky when trying to strike a balance between the needs of your employees and your bosses, but if you are operating from your own personal mission statement and using your own core values, then making tough decisions can actually be emotionally rewarding, in that you get an opportunity to make a decision that you can be proud of.
Speaker 1:The other aspect of openness is being open to employees' feedback and criticism. They may not always be correct in their criticism or concerns, but respecting your employees means giving them a fair hearing. When someone comes to you with a problem with what you are doing or how you are doing things, listen carefully. If you feel yourself getting angry or defensive, it's possible that the employee has struck a nerve. You may not be in a place where you can immediately acknowledge the employee's criticism. If that's the case, schedule a follow-up that will allow you time to assess your employee's concern and what you can do about it. Recent studies have found that people appreciate vulnerability in others far more than an appearance of perfection or invincibility. So don't be afraid to admit when you are wrong or mistaken. This can actually make you a more respected and effective leader than if you demand respect by never apologizing or acknowledging your mistakes.
Speaker 1:Darla had received a request from Sarah for a week off in January so that Sarah could visit her family in India. She told Sarah that she would know soon so she could book her flights. Darla's supervisor denied the request. Before contacting Sarah, darla looked through Sarah's personnel files and saw that she had never taken a vacation since she started. Darla sent an email to her supervisor asking if she could address the issue directly. Darla let Sarah know that the request had been denied, but she was going to try to get that changed. Darla presented Sarah's case to her supervisor personally and got approval. She emailed Sarah to let her know.
Speaker 1:Module 10. Building and Reinforcing your Team. Teams don't immediately come together and experience success overnight. In fact, it takes a good leader to work at turning a group of people into an effective team. This module explores the various aspects of building and improving your team. One of the most important activities that you will need to engage in as a leader is constantly assessing the state of your team, each individual employee and yourself. Before you can put employees in positions to succeed, you have to have a good idea of what their strengths and weaknesses are. Here are some guidelines for how to assess team and team member strengths and weaknesses. Include other team members in the assessment process. Allow each member of the team a chance to identify their and other team members' strengths and weaknesses. Ideally, this can be done privately, so that no team member develops resentment towards another for perceived unwarranted criticism. This also allows you to compare your assessment with others.
Speaker 1:When an employee or the entire team experiences a failure or a success, try to identify why this came about and who was most responsible. In the case of failure, identifying the responsible person is not about casting blame, but it is about identifying what went wrong, so you know where and how to improve. When you are analyzing a success, however, it is good to give credit when someone other than yourself was particularly instrumental in that success. Determine how consistently an employee performs in a given role. If that employee is consistently unsuccessful, try to find another opportunity and role for that employee to be successful. Identify the skills necessary for success in certain roles and when an employee is consistently successful in a role, note these skills as part of that employee's skill set. If an employee fails to perform consistently, you may also identify these skills as weaknesses in that particular employee. Observe employees when they act alone or outside of the team structure in order to determine how their strengths and weaknesses might change in different contexts. Perhaps it is not a lack of a particular skill that is the weakness, but an inability to apply that skill in a team setting, or vice versa.
Speaker 1:Dr Meredith Belbin identifies nine team roles that can help make up a balanced and effective team. The plant the plant is the highly creative and unconventional member of a team. They tend to be strong in thinking outside the box, but their primary weakness is a tendency to be forgetful. The monitor evaluator ME. This person is good at providing a logical and dispassionate view of the range of decisions before a team. They tend to have difficulties with being overly critical and slow-moving. The coordinator, co. This employee often it will be you helps the team to focus on goals and to delegate work effectively. They tend to either over-delegate or under-delegate and end up micromanaging. The resource investigator RI. This employee will tend to understand how your team's work can best translate to the rest of the world. They will be good at understanding the competition and developing connections with others outside and inside the team framework. But they can have difficulties with following up on or getting in-depth information.
Speaker 1:The implementer this role involves someone who is good at taking theory and putting it into practice. They try to find strategies on how to make an idea work in the most efficient manner. Implementers have difficulty considering alternative approaches and may be slow to give up on a favorite idea. Completer finishers these team members excel at the end of a task. They make sure everything is functioning ideally. These employees act as a kind of quality control. Their strength having high standards can also be their weakness, in that they tend to be perfectionists. Team workers TW these employees are really good at smoothing over the tensions and difficulties that come up when people are working hard on creative endeavors. They excel at working and playing with others, but they can be indecisive when it comes time to make team decisions about the best course of action.
Speaker 1:Shapers these employees act as a kind of engine for the team. They can effectively get others going and create momentum. Typically, shapers are highly driven and enthusiastic individuals. Their weakness tends to be being overly aggressive and temperamental in their desire to get the team's work done. The specialist, the specialist of the group, might only know how to do one thing, but they are an expert at it. Their focus is narrow and in-depth, which can be both their strength and their weakness. An ideal team will be balanced, with all nine roles being expressed. Since many teams are smaller than nine people, you may find that different team members excel at multiple roles. When you identify a key strength in one of your employees, for example an employee who is highly energetic, then you can help them fulfill one or more roles on your team. The energetic employee, for example, might be good at being a shaper as well as being a resource investigator. Someone who is highly critical can be either a completer finisher or a monitor, evaluator or both.
Speaker 1:Often you may want to give team members a break from working on their normal projects to meet as a team and improve team morale or functioning. Sometimes, getting a team together for a meeting or a team-building activity can actually be an exercise in futility. In order to use meetings and team-building exercises effectively, it is helpful to have specific goals in mind, to identify those goals to your team members and to follow up. For example, doing a trust-building exercise after a time when team members were at each other's throats is helpful, but if you only do the trust-building exercise the one time, after a while, team members may forget the point or lose the benefits they gained from engaging in the exercise the one time. When planning a meeting, for instance, identify why the meeting is necessary and plan an agenda to keep the meeting organized. Sometimes the necessity is quite simple. For example, scheduling time for team members to play together can help them to recharge after a particularly grueling project. It can also help them build more of a rapport with each other. Having specific goals for an activity does not preclude having an activity achieve multiple goals.
Speaker 1:When planning team building exercises, make sure that you don't undermine your attempt to improve your team. Here are some suggestions of what to avoid in team building. Make sure that your team building goals are relevant to your team's needs so that they are worth taking regular time away from other work to improve. Make sure that your team building activities are not simply one-time affairs, but that they are consistently worked on to reinforce your goal for the exercise. While athletics can be fun for many employees, they can also be destructive towards building team morale, especially if they are focused simply on competition and winning. If you use team building exercises, try to incorporate them more frequently than once or twice a year. Incorporating these exercises monthly or weekly helps to reinforce your goals.
Speaker 1:Gus reviewed his employees' records regarding the previous project. He found that Marcus was skilled at meeting with clients from another company and getting information on their projects. Gus was starting a new project, as was another company, and he needed Marcus to find out what he could. Gus let Marcus off of work early so he could get to the local hangout. Marcus found out that the rival company was slow to get the project running. Knowing this, gus hustled his team into action A month later, after successful completion of a project that would mean millions for the company. Gus took a moment to specifically single out Marcus's good job.
Speaker 1:Module 11. You are the boss of you. We've reached the point in this course where you can understand all the ends and outs of leading others. However, if you cannot lead yourself effectively, you will never be able to get others to follow you. The most important habit that effective people can have, whether they lead others or not is to be proactive. Think of proactive as the opposite of reactive. Instead of having the world act upon you, you take action to make yourself into the kind of leader anyone would follow. If you have been working on your mission statement and identifying your core values, this question is probably not too difficult to answer. If you understand what you value in yourself and others, then you can work at shaping yourself into the kind of leader. Keep in mind that developing into the kind of leader that you would follow involves constantly reassessing where you are in terms of your values, your goals and your overall mission.
Speaker 1:The further you go down the path of leadership, the more necessary it becomes to refine your skills and improve yourself. This requires detachment and self-honesty. Being detached means that you are able to dispassionately observe where you are strong and where you are weak. Self-honesty is the capacity to identify personal strengths and weaknesses. In order to be an effective employee, an effective leader and an effective person, you must have the capacity to reflect and be aware of yourself. Being self-aware involves multiple dimensions of the self. Taking care of physical needs through exercise and maintaining a good diet are factors in being aware of your physical self. Disciplining your mind through meditation that allows you to manage your emotions effectively is an example of developing your emotional and psychological awareness. You also want to have a good idea of the big picture. Are you satisfied with where you are and where you are going? Imagine once again that you are at your funeral. How would you imagine the things people have to say about you would match up with your life's goals and your mission statement?
Speaker 1:Self-improvement is a long-term game, but as you work continuously on improving yourself, it is important to keep certain pitfalls in mind. Naval gazing can occur when you become overly focused on yourself. This means that you become self-absorbed and self-centered. Another pitfall of working to improve yourself constantly is that that you become self-absorbed and self-centered. Another pitfall of working to improve yourself constantly is that you can become overly convinced of your own self-importance. Finally, if you are always working to improve yourself, you may find that you have gotten stuck, in this sense that you are never good enough. A better way to frame this is to think that where you are is always good, but that there is also always room for improvement. When you find yourself excessively self-oriented, this is a sign that you need to deepen your humility and refocus on serving others. Here are some ways to help you foster a greater sense of humility.
Speaker 1:Allow others to be first and foremost. Insisting on being the first in line, the first to raise your hand in a class, the first to get the parking spot, and so on has a tendency to inflate one's sense of self-importance. However, when you allow others to have the spotlight or be first, it gives you a better vantage point to appreciate their gifts and what they are able to bring to the table. And when you can do this, you actually find yourself in a better position to lead others, because you understand how they can best contribute. Don't insist on being right. Nobody likes to be wrong, including other people. When you are wrong, it puts you in a vulnerable position, which can be scary. However, vulnerability is often what makes a person beautiful and appreciable. Allowing others the legitimacy of their beliefs without correction from you is a charitable act.
Speaker 1:Listen to what other people think more than telling them what you think. Dale Carnegie once said that the sweetest sound to anyone is the sound of their own voice. Really, paying attention to what other people have to say without having to correct or undermine them helps you to stay oriented outward rather than being self-absorbed. Try not to judge others. An old saying goes like this when you point a finger at someone else, you have three fingers pointing back at you. While it is tempting to judge another person, to assess what they are doing and how they are doing it, when you do so, you are presuming that you know better. Unfortunately, unless you have lived the experiences of another person, you cannot know what is best for them. Your grasp on another person's situation will always be incomplete because you don't have a complete picture.
Speaker 1:Throughout the whole process of becoming a more effective leader and a more effective human being, two tools can help smooth the way. The first is developing a greater sense of gratitude. When you wake up in the morning or while you drink your coffee or eat breakfast, either write down in a notebook or type on your computer a list of five things for which you are grateful. If you keep this gratitude journal every day, it will have a cumulative effect on your keeping a positive outlook. The second tool's importance cannot be understated. No matter how much you have on your plate at any given time, it is important that you take the time to play, whether this is a hobby such as painting, or an activity such as playing video games. Make a point of scheduling play time for yourself at least two to three times a week. This will help you to balance out all the stress you have in your life.
Speaker 1:Wayne, a team manager, considered justice and truth as core values of his. Wayne often insisted he was right and it sometimes got him into conflicts. One day he got into an argument with Sabrina, a long-time employee, over a sales report. He insisted he was right and Sabrina got upset. Wayne dropped the subject but was still worried. Sabrina had said he doesn't value her opinion, he hadn't listened to her clearly and that, even though his opinion about the report seemed right, she had a legitimate point. He contacted Sabrina and acknowledged her opinions and apologized After hanging up the phone. Wayne added listening to others as a core value to his list, module 12.
Speaker 1:Wrapping Up. Although this workshop is coming to a close, we hope that your journey to developing into a quality leader is just beginning. We wish you the best of luck on the rest of your travels. Words from the wise Max Lucado A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd. John Quincy Adams If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more. You are a leader, lao Tzu. A leader is best when people barely know he exists. When his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say we did it ourselves. Eleanor Roosevelt, to handle yourself, use your head. To handle others, use your heart.
